SGU Episode 116

E: Keep your phone on your belt near your groin. You'll be all set.

S: Yeah.

R: Wait. Can I just say as a girl, don't, guys, don't do that. It looks so dorky. OK go on.

S: What? The cell phone on the hip?

R: The cell phone on the–yeah. The phaser.

J: The Star Trek Next Gen phaser.

R: Just don't do it.

S: Where else are you going to wear your cell phone if not on your hip?

J: Yeah?

S: Let me ask you a question.

R: You can carry it in your pocket, in your man purse...

S: Why won't women wear cell phones on their hip? I don't get it.

E: Yeah.

R: Because it looks ridiculous.

S: But you know what? My wife throws her cell phone in the purse and then she can't hear it ring.

R: Yeah, but she doesn't look ridiculous does she?

S: Yeah but she doesn't answer her cell phone.

R: No, she looks cute 'cause she has a purse.

E: She's being impractical.

R: Yeah. And she's not getting getting brain cancer 'cause she's not answering her phone all the time cause she can't find it. There, problem solved.

E: Or groin cancer.

S: I'm not going to advocate that people wear like fanny packs or anything, but I think this is one case...

R: Oh, god.

S: ...where function trumps fashion.

R: No no no. It is practically, you are right next to fanny pack.

S: No, no no. This is totally different.

R: I know that you've been walking down the street thinking, "You know, this phone clipped to my belt is cool and all but wouldn't it be better if I could stick a little bit of money next to to the phone. Or maybe put my keys there. Hey, you know, I should get like a larger sack to carry the phone in."

S: No you're missing... Rebecca you're missing the whole thing here. First of all, wearing an electronic device on your hip is way cool. Okay? That's number one.

E: Oh, yeah.

R: Oh, you are so confused.

S: Number two...

E: Babe magnet.

S: ...is you're going in the wrong direction by going towards a fanny pack. You should be going in the utility belt direction.

E: Ooo... I agree.

S: Yes. Absolutely.

J: You're a genius.

R: Yeah. Yeah. Batman. That's a great idea. Have you considered a cowl while you're at it? A cowl?

S: A cowl?

R: A cowl pulled over your face. Yes. Maybe with little ears.

S: Those are only for evil–those are only for villains. Not heroes.

R: Uh, Batman has a cowl. Hello.

S: He's the dark knight, okay? He's right on the edge.

R: Just don't do it, okay? It's bad.

J: You could have like a little change thing on there.

S: Yeah.

J: If you can get a...

R: The only way an electrical device attached to your hip is going to get you laid is if it's a vibrator, okay?